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Time:05:11 pm
Ooh, I had a memory!

A few months ago before I moved to 3rd shift, myself and my co worker were trying to get dinner ready, and grandpa started going off. This is the man who reminds me of my grandpa--the one who started smackin' his wife around so she had to move next door (she got to come visit 2 times a day, but only when accompanied by family). SO yes, he started having a war-time flashback. He started wandering around in his wheelchair having flashbacks and yelling at other residents.

Danielle and I managed to isolate him for a minute, but he began assaulting us...he was getting really mean! Xanax cream didn't seem to phase him, so I ran around about 3 feet infront of him going, "Wooooooooo, look at me! Na na na, he hehee!" trying to keep his attention on me. He was already pissy so I didnt have to worry about aggrivating him, and if he could focus on me then he wouldn't hurt the other residents.

While I was doing this, Danielle tried to contact his family. No one was home.

So for 2 solid hours we made laps around the old folks home. I walked backwards most of the time, waving colourful balloons (we'd just had our "Senior Prom" and there were leftover decorations) going, "Wwwwwwwwwwoooo, look at me! You can't get me!"

That worked for a while, until another cantankerous resident started shouting at him. "Ohh, shut up!" she yelled. So he started going into the living room to thrash her since she now had his attention--so I had to go up to him and tap his shoulder. He remembered that he was after me, and began chasing me again. Keep in mind that we're movign about as fast as a toddler can crawl.

Finally Danielle got ahold of some of his family, and seeing them helped calm him.

Looking back it was quite funny, but at the time I was really scared.
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Time:04:55 pm
I have not posted in SO freaking long


And now I don't work for the old folks home anymore...I accepted a position at the hospital...

I'm terrifically sorry ya'll
I'll post some memories every now and then that I recal that tickle my fancy...or if I have some neat old folks that come through


Merry Christmas everyone...
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Time:03:34 am
I was late getting ot work tonight because I started up school again. My boss knows that I dont get out of class until 6--yet she told my co-workers that I'd be there at 5:30. Right.

So when I got there, my house-mate was kinda pissed and said that I was going to give the shower on her hall tonight cuz she didnt want ot listen to the lady say, "Oh, that feels good!" when she has her privates washed. She said, "I cooked and did the dishes today, u can give the shower"

Now, normally because I'm the med passer, and she's not, she's myne for hte bossing around. She's my pervibial bitch. And -I- did all the dishes yesterday, and it's the non-medpassers job to do the dishes...and she didnt do a single dish.

But, I was late, out of uniform, and she has an attitude. And it didn't matter that much to me anyway. But the lady that I was supposed to give a shower to last night refused last night--so I told her that I would do a shower for her if she did one for me (haha, yay for passive aggressiveness)

Now, w/ this lady it's hit or miss about her showers. Usually once you convince her that a shower is a good idea--she's all hung ho about it. "I like to get washed up" "I do love a good shower" etc.

Goood gawd--she was silly tongiht. I tried to pull her up by the britches (Cuz she refused to stand) so she started ticklign me! And then once we stood her up she started spitting! And we "helped" her to the bathroom, got her clothes off of her, and she says, "I don't need a shower. You take your clothes off and take a shower first and I'll go next" and she kept trying to undress us. It was hilarious.

Then in the shower--she kept trying to take the shower head and spray me. She's so silly. I've never seen her so playful before :) I couldnt be mad at her for it




My boyfriend's grandma had a mini seisure this morning--it was terrible. Anyhow, he was going to spend the night at her house to make sure she had someone w/ her, but he dropped by my work to say hi since he hadnt seen me all day. He brought me a 2 liter of Mt Dew (cuz he's an awesome boyfriend like that), and he was just standing in the kitchen w/ me while I was putting dishes away (that co-worker had left on the counter for 4 hours)...when co-worker calls, "Jessssssssiiii, I need to talk to you" from the other end of the house.

"Okay," she says when I finally find her, "I dont mind if your boyfriend is here, but there's till towels in the bathroom. I dont want to be yelled at by third shift"

Hhhhhhhold up.

She's the notoriously lazy one.
I had ALL of my hallway dressed an in bed.
She still had most of her people to do.
Both sets of meds were passed.
I did a shower for her.
And had that lady in bed too.
And I'd finished and put away the dishes that she'd left while she sat and watched TV. And she had the nerveee to say something to me?

Woo golly, I was pretty crisp for a while.

I went and did a 2 person job while she was watching TV...about 45 minutes later she's like, "let's go do Sally*" and i was like, "Nah, i got her already", "Oh why didnt you come get me?", "You were busy watching tv. I didnt want to disturb you"

I dont think she caught my subtle-bitchyness.


*not her real name



My dog is being put down tomarrow. He's got cancer of the ass and probably prostate cancer too...he's been dripping juices everywhere for a while now. We tried doggy diapers---then doggie diapers w/ baby diapers inside of htem...as a last ditch effort to stave mom off from putting him down I sprung for some Depends...which work.....but he's in pain so its just kinder to put him down. So now I guess I've got some Depends to bring to the old folks home...
...too bad the only lady that could've fit them died a few days ago.
...they'll be there for the next small one though. Lord knows we need Depends *s*
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Time:08:08 am
Current Mood:okayokay
My ittle wittle woman died yesterday morning.

Her family said that she went peacefully. I'm glad for that.

This is the first geezer that I've grown attached to and lost---the others I barely knew.

Its really weird to think of the memory care place w/o my wittle lady wandering around, talking nonsence to thin-air--but being VERY serious about it.

She will be missed.




I was at the assisted living center house last night--for some reason I've been scheduled over there the last 3 nights---other than feeling like a bellhop, its a good deal. I dont have to chase after anyone whose trying to escape, and there's a lot less work to do. But when those buzzers start going off---I'd take the memory care place anyday.

So I'm doing my paperwork and NewGuy comes and hobbles up to me, turns his walker around, and has a seat in it. He's a talkitive one, and we're talking about just about everything, and NewLady person goes wandering around being crazy (She reaaaaallly belons next door) and he says openly, "when I get to be that old I hope that I die. She's just not right".

So then we get on a discussion about his age. "How old do you think I am?" he asks. "I dunno...65?" (I was being nice). "Huh? 68 you say?" "yeah" "Well doll, I'm 86 years old. And I can still get a stiffy"

"What?"
"You know...when a man's gentleman stands to attention..."
"ooooohhhh....um, congratulations..."
"Yup, 86 years old and I can still get a hardon"
"That's great"

I'm pretty hard to weird out--but that was definately TMI. That would be like my grandpa talking about how he wiggles his ass when he comes or something...just...WRONG....


X-posted in too_much_info
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Subject:showers
Time:12:59 am
A good bit of a long while ago someone asked me how I avoid getting soaked when I give people showers--I was writing a reply and had to go and havnt replied yet...but I think about that question every time that I give a shower.

I almost ALWAYS get wet while giving a shower...so, I roll up my pants into some ghetto-capri shorts, and that's about all that gets wet of me...my shoes are leather so it's no biggie...*Shrugs* and our houses are kept pretty warm so the water evaporating off of me while I chase down the old crazy folks feels nice :)
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Subject:Making up for lost time
Time:01:42 am
Sorry that I havn't posted in forever-- been soo busy, and about to get busier.


So the other night, I'd worked a double (16 hr shift--I was so dead) the night before and I was starting to migraine. So I'm putting this one lady to bed, I'd just changed her and sponged bathed her and she was all set--and she croaks, "I'm thirsty". I get her one of these ittle-bitty water bottles that her family supplies, she takes a sip and says, "thank you".

And then she burps.

And she says, "my head hurts"
"Myne does too" I say
"I don't feel good" says she
"I don't either"
"I think I'm going to be sick" she warns
"Oooh, please dont---"

that's as far as I got before I started seeing the deleted scense of the Excorsist--she spewed EVERYWHERE.......and the look in her eyes while she was doing it--it was just---gross. Oh God and the sound--*shudder* And she did it repeatedly! Vomit fountained into the air and splashed back onto her face--and just as I'd reached to help clean her up she'd start spewing again! And the worst part is that she kept apologizing between bursts of gut-juice...I felt SO bad for her--(and so bad for myself--I'd JUST gotten her clean and now we had to do a complete bed-bath and sheet change...which wouldnt be bad...if she could be off of the bed while we did it...)

Yeah, it was gross



In our non-memory care house--we got a new resident. Her first night she was a big elopment risk cuz she reeaaaaalllly didnt want to be there...but, she's settling in. Tonight was my first night over there since she's been w/ us. So I introduced myself and what-not and about half an hour into my shift I catch her eyeing me up, so I wave cheerfully and smile. Another resident (who's just beginning to lose her marbles--she doesn't belong at the memory care ward just yet; but her husband is over there :() comes in and asks me where her husband is and, "what's happened to me?"
"What's happened to all of us?" asks the new girl.
And they look at me.
What does one say???

I just kinda shrugged and smiled as re-assuringly as I could, but I felt pretty ackward.

So then the other lady wanders off and new girl starts lamenting about how bored she was--so I put her to work. We made dinner together and talked about where she used to live and it was very nice. I think that I helped her to feel more at home.

She starts to get batty late at night though...she asked my co-worker about 6 times to call her husband...so we call some family memebers and find out that her husband died like 3 years ago. And then she started being verbally abusive if you told her that--but forgot it like 10 minutes later anywya.....

*Shrugs*




I'm SO heartbroken.

I've posted about this woman before--she's my little woman in the memory care buidling who's got HUGE poops. She's so sweet and wittle--you'd want to cuddle her if you could be sure she wouldn't break...

anyhow, on to the story:

so about 4:30p one day last week...I'm passing my meds and I hear, "JESSI! BLOOD!", and I reach for my cell to call 911. My ittle bitty woman was lying face down and looked like she'd fallen face forward...and her nose was gushing thick bright red blood. So I send my co-worker to make copies of all of her papers so the paramedics will have all of her info when they leave, and I made sure to make sure that her airway was clear, she was breathing normally, and concious. I DID NOT move her because I figured that any mechanism of injury great enough to cause uncontrollable bleeding of the head could be great enough for a possible neck injury, so as long as she wasnt face down in a pool of blood, I wasnt going to move her. I called my nurse, and the ER to let them know what they were going to have rolling through the door, and stayed with her to keep her calm.

A few minutes later, the paramedics got there. I should have known by the looks on their faces that they were assholes, but I was a bit pre-occupied. As they rolled in their cot, one of our other residents (who was manic and hyper-crazy at the time) followed them, and saw someone she recognized on the floor and bleeding. Needless to say, she was concerned and wanted to get as close as she could and was physically abusive to my gentle restraints but we comprimised on peeking out a doorway--not in their way--but close enough for her to be assuaged. Anyhow...the paramedics asked what happend...felt her up a little bit, glared at me, and put her on the cot. "Where's your nurse?" one asks. "I called her but she made the judgement call to not come out this time." I say. "You're nurse doesnt come out when someone falls?" dude asks snottily. I'm sorry, but it's his job to get her ass to the hospital--not to judge our care ( I think she shoulda been out there too but hey its her licence on the line not myne *shrugs* ). SO I shrug and repeat my previous sentance about it being her judgement call and I let them out our security doors. I thank the paramendics--they glare at me--I say bye to my resident--and they sneer-----Manic-crazy-resident-lady tries to follow so I hold her back, and they look at me like I'm satan or something.

But I honestly didn't notice how sour they were until about half an hour later.
When I got a call from an ER nurse.

My co worker was a bit too rushed to notice that her copies of our residents medical sheets sucked, so the nurse had to call back to get the information. "And while we're chit-chatting on the phone," she says, "is it okay to leave a poor 94 year old woman on the floor in a pool of her own blood with people stepping over her and all you can say is 'well, I called the nurse...'?"

"First of all," I say carefully after a moment of silence (btw, I know this woman--I've volunteered with her for 3 summers and my mom works with her...but she doesnt know who I am at this point) "her head was to the side, her airway was clear, and she was concious and breathing normally. I did not move her for fear of a head, neck, or spine injury. I did not leave her side, and NO BODY "stepped over her""

Silence on the other side of the line.

"I'll be back with those med names" I say

SO when I came back, she was sssssooooooooooooooooo apologetic and backpeddling furiously..."oh, well I'm hearing this second hand, its the report that I got from the paramedics" I cut her off there with, "oh honey, I understand--my mom's an ER nurse...I think you probably know her actually...she's (insert nickname here)"

"JESSI????"

"Yup."

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!"

SO I was pretty pissed after that--not at all w/ the ER nurse, I would've done the same in her shoes--but w/ the paramedics. SO, long story wrapping up to a close: I called to report those medics and THEIR boss kinda did the good old boy system of "well, I'll talk to them and if they really did fuck up then I'll talk to them in a sterner tone of voice" bullshit. I'm seriously thinking of writing a letter to the editor about it because that was just WRONG.

ANyhow, as to why I'm heartbroken: my wittle bitty lady needed surgery to stop the bleeding, and she's dying. I'm going to go visit her tomarrow I think. I'm going to miss her :,( so much! I dont know too many details about where she is but I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to find her...
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Time:02:10 am
An old man pissed on me tonight.

See, his wife used to get him ready for bed...but he started gettin' grumpy late at night and beating the hell out of her--so, she has her own room now (which her family pays for...so its like they're paying 3X's as much (dude has a double suite so his counts for 2 and now she's got her own))...so yeah, now we get him ready for bed.

So anyway, yes...getting him ready for bed..., "Hey Bob*, do you have to use the urinal before bed?", I ask as we wheel him into his room. He was on a thought track from his war-years and was really paranoid so I had to repeat the question a few times before he understood me. So he said yeah and I handed him his little plasticy porta john thing and turned around respectfully. So I turn back around a few minutes later when I dont hear any tinkleage and he's wandered off to play with his lamp...(he was hiding it from the enemy...sssssssshhhh dont tell them where he put it)...so I remind him that he has to pee...so he starts fiddling w/ his pants and his hands are so arthritic that he was having an awful hard time w/ it...sooo, I undid his zipper. And his button. At this point I'm startin to feel kinda creepy--most of the people that I undress are all women...I've never undressed him before, and he rminds me an awful lot of my grandpa. But I ignore it and turn around again. And then turn around again when there is no peeing noises. He wants his pants off. Okay, whatever, "C'mon Bob let's stand up" and my partner and I help him stand and pull down his trousers and his diaper...and he wanted to pee standing up so yeah we helped him stand...and then I hear the distinct sound of piss on hardwork flooring...he hadn't put his little thingie in there and was just peeing willy-nilly (pun intended :D), so w/o thinking I reached down and held the urinal up to his body. In the process, I got some pee on me (gloved hands thank GOD). And then came that part that grossed out my co worker: she noticed that I had grabbed the urinal by the bottom when I lifted it to Bob's person....as it started to fill with urine I giggled and said, "ahhhhhh, its warm"
she thought that I was sick

...-I- thought it was funny...*Shrugs*


*Obviously not his real name

X-posted in too_much_info


Our new resident doesnt think that she lives with us. So about 30+ times a day she tries to escape. This really blows, because we have to chase her down and make her come back inside. If she lived next door at the Assisted Living home, she could come and go as she pleased. However, she's a wander-risk...and has memory problems...sooooooooo she belongs in our house. 98% of our residents cant figure out how the doors work...collectively they might accidently trigger an alarm like maybe twice a day...but our new gal...she is ALWAYS on her way out the door. I feel bad for her cuz I can imagine how confused she must feel...but it gets SO old explaining why she's there and why she can't leave like 100 times a day.


One of our residents is pretty-well recovered from a hip surgery...but she's not quite up to snuff yet...she's still on hospice, w/ the hospital bed and all...and she doesnt use the toilet at all, she's strictly a brief-girl. SO anyway, when we're changing her at night and rolling her from side to side to clean and such, she'll pinch and scrape and punch and bite...but as soon as you're done, she looks at you like you're God and say, "thank you, thank you" and try to kiss you. It's really cute.


One of my favorite residents we affectionately call "Grandma" because she's blind and doesn't know that she's in a home, and before she came to us her granddaughters took care of her. So for all reasons and practical purposes, she's everyoens Grandma. It seems to make her more comfortable. So the other night I'm getting her into her PJ's and she is just in rare form. She is a MEAN old lady some times and she's calling me every name imaginanable (she seems to favor, "son of a bitch" a lot though), punching, pinching, kicking, pulling hair...anything to cause pain...all the while I'm trying to change her. I'm glad she's blind cuz if she could see she would have totally kicked my ass**. I've got so many scars from her. So anywya, when she was completely changed and I was very sore, she leaned back on the toilet like it was a recliner and mused, "heh, I never thought that I'd have a kid who was such a pain the ass" and chuckled. I gave her a hug and said, "grandma, you taught me well" and she laughed...until she realized what I'd meant and then she got mad for a brief minute, and then laughed again. It was adorable.


**I'm serious--she broke one girls arm a few months back...BROKE HER ARM!!
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Subject:Old Folks
Time:12:00 am
I was doing my book work today and looked down and realized that I had a dried snot-booger on my arm.

I have no idea who it belonged to.

I scraped it off and kept on doing my bookwork.


Cross posted in too_much_info
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Time:02:12 am
Current Mood:exhaustedexhausted
My old folks were off the chain today.

Usually I've got at least an hour of down time at the end of the night to fold some laundry and get my evening paperwork done. Not only did we not get anything resembling a break--I dare say that tonight was the most hectic night we've ever head.

Our new resident doesn't completely understand that she lives w/ us now, so she kept tryign to walk out. We've got 2 back doors, and she'd go and set one off, we'd go get her and reset the alarm, and while we were shutting off the second alarm she'd go hit the other one. She got outside once because both myself and my parter were attending to residents on the toilet (and couldn't leave them) so she wandered outside and nearly got to the road! I could have shit bricks.

For a solid hour all we could do was chase people tryign to escape. In that time we were supposed to get people in their pajamas, get meds passed, get showers in, get poopie butts changed...*sigh* one poor lady had to sit naked for 20 minutes because I got pulled away chasing down people outside.

We need more people *sigh*. 3 people is -not- enoough for 29 residents.

Today was one of my resident's birthdays. And you know how her family celebrated it? They sent the son-in-law to read her some birthday cards for 5 minutes and then he left. I've been working there for nearly 3 months and thats the first time I've seen anyone come in to visit her. For five lousy minutes.
So I said, "fuck it" and -I- threw her a birthday party. So during one of the most hellish days I've ever seen at the memery-care facility, we dealt with a doctor's visit (always so stressful) for 5 hours, 3 wandering residnets trying to escape, made dinner, cleaned, wiped ass, realitives who think that -we- are the people to complain to about management, and making a birthday cake (and icing) from scrath.

It went off okay though, I made it a "pajama birthdya party" and you can only have cake if you're in your PJ's ;)

*sigh* I'm glad that I've got tomarrow off. I think that I'd go butt-fuckin' crazy if I had to go in there and do it again.
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Subject:Old Folks
Time:02:26 am
Current Mood:nauseatednauseated
I will never eat peas again.

One of my favorite old ladies today had a massive attack of diarrhea.
She shit out peas.
Undigested, fully round, peas.
And her poop-attack was so overwhelming that it leaked out her diaper.
And onto the floor.
ANd she left a trail when she walked. Every time she brought her left leg forward, 1 or 2 peas would fall down.

I was making my rounds and was puzzled by a pea on the floor. So I picked it up.
Thank GOD I was wearing gloves (hey, I'm paranoid...)! So I followed the trail to find her on the pot.

It was immediate shower time...and upon inspection I found nearly 2 cups (by my crude guestimation) of pea-shit in her brief. Good God.

I will never eat peas again.

X-posted in too_much_info
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